Deadly, Yet Exciting? 3/8/25 Warhammer Pre-Orders SMASH or PASS

I used to do this a lot on TikTok, but it's easier for me to write these days and I like my blog more. Basically, each week Games Workshop puts out a list of what's coming up for pre-order in its games, and I make jokes about which ones I want to sleep with. Pretty simple context.

Note: my background is more Horus Heresy/Warhammer 40k, so I don't know a whole lot about Age of Sigmar and it's various characters

Gloomspite Gitz from Age of Sigmar are the big pre-orders coming up this week. I'm just proud of myself for writing this whole article and not mentioning "goblin mode" or "furries" once (aw crap now I did).

Droggz da Sunchompa

Hard PASS. Guy literally has "chomp" in his name! And that's even before we get to the wolf. I feel like I'm getting sympathy cuts on my body just from imagining what it would be like. Also, zoom in on the dude's face, and it looks like he's holding in a huge fart. I'm not into that kind of play either.

Sunsteala Wheelas

Maybe. At least here the wolves are chained up, so there's a possibility I wont be bleeding out afterwards. Plus I'm easily swayed by having a kick-ass set of wheels. Anything is much more exciting when you're shredding across the ground at break-neck speed.

Snarlpack Cavalry

Still a hard PASS, for similar reasons to Droggz. However, I just wanted to point out that in this instance, they come with a friend to join the fun. Also, look at the smiles on these happy little doggies! They look like they be so cheerful while they tear me limb from limb.

Doom Diver Catapult

In a contrast to everything else, going to go with hell yeah SMASH for this one. First of all, there's some massive creativity/ingenuity going on here, so you'll never be bored in bed. Then there's the whole aerial piece going on. I feel like getting a swing installed in my bedroom might be in my future with these guys…

Notes/Disclaimers: I generally assume I know nothing. So if I've missed something, let me know in the comments. If you like these types of posts, consider subscribing to our patreon.